The Coconut Club
by merimaid
Summary: Hiccup and Astrid are normal enough. But Jack and Tooth? Well, Jack quit his former job as a software pirate and moved back into coastal Burgess on a cruise ship, only to be followed for a week by Tooth, who's determined to fight him to the death. And don't forget, Tooth's a mermaid. Welcome to the Coconut Club, where one-lens sunglasses are in and the status quo is definitely out.
1. A Little Mermaid

Toothiana was a child of the ocean. Her essence was the sea foam that bubbled among the fish and the coral, her soul flourished in the gentle undercurrents of the tides, and her heart sang along with the brightness of the sunlight that made the water sparkle. Every tear that dripped from her eyes added a gram of salt to the ocean, and for every laugh that she uttered , a small, joyful wave skipped across the surface.

Tooth only knew the sea and the sun and the fish. She had read, once, on a seaweed scroll that her mother, the leader of their tribe, had given her that there was a whole world outside of the sea. She had received more hints about this world from the fearsome stories Aster would tell her about the pirates that had battled and captured many of her kin. And sometimes, when she would lounge in the sun on the outcrop of rocks near the North Shore, careful to stay out of sight, she would catch small glimpses of creatures that had long limbs instead of tails, who ran and walked across stone and wore strange things at the bottom of these "legs." They spoke the same language as her, and the ones that she could see wore the same coverings as her. Their faces weren't very different, but it was the bottom halves that set them apart. Well, that and hair.

Tooth liked her kin's hair much better than the humans'. There were a thousand different shades and lengths of hair merfolk could have. Tooth's mother had shoulder-length turquoise hair that could look yellowish in the sun, and Tooth herself had waist-length dark brown hair that had brilliant streaks of light and dark green and yellow. Humans, the ones that she observed, had boring mud-brown or light yellow hair. Occasionally, one would have a rusty ginger head, which would get them lots of teasing from the others.

Tooth took pride in being able to observe quietly. Well, actually, not very quietly. In general, Tooth couldn't lay out completely still on the rocks like Aster was able to. Her tail was constantly twitching and making flippy-floppy motions, and her mouth was always going a mile a minute- talking to her friends, or the little fairies that liked to hang around her because they thought it was cool knowing a mermaid. Tooth got bored very easily, and her mother was always telling her off for looking for trouble. So it wasn't much of a surprise when, one day, the unthinkable happened.

Tooth found a pirate.

* * *

Burgess felt exactly like it did three years ago. Jack breathed in the smell of seawater and fish, and took a glance over the little seaport town from his vantage point on top of the open-roofed three-story docking station. As soon as the ship had landed on North Shore, he'd scrambled up the building's rickety wooden stairs and found a spot at the windowed wall facing the town. Jack could see posters advertising the week-long Winter Festival, which culminated a day after Christmas, hung up on the lampposts around the town. Little kids and teenagers crowded the white-sanded beach next to the dock, enjoying the first day of their mid-year break, and everywhere Jack looked, he saw bright sunshine and every indication that Burgess was a flourishing coastal settlement.

He strolled down the steps again to the edge of the dock and took a good look at faraway Fae Island, named after the fairies that were rumored to live there. Jack believed in fairies, because the idea of small, winged, creatures that existed in harmony with humans was magical.

The whole town was magical, really. Every so often the ocean would break out in ripples from the fins of some marine creature frolicking in the balmy water, and there were many small fisherman sailboats with their nets cast. Jack took another deep breath, feeling nostalgia spread from his toes to his fingertips.

His phone buzzed loudly, breaking him out of his reverie. He fished it out from his pocket and grimaced at the caller ID. It was Pitch. Again.

Jack had been avoiding his calls, which had started about a week ago, so he'd opted to take a ship from Washington instead of a plane because some guy had once told him that there wasn't any 4G in the Pacific Ocean. Thankfully, the dude was right.

Jack should've been expecting the call from his former boss, but it still managed to piss him off. He hesitantly picked up, after jogging off the dock and towards a more remote corner of the shore.

"Yeah, what."

* * *

Tooth started. She had been sitting on a boulder, her tail hanging in the water, trying-and failing- to braid her hair when she heard the voice. It sounded like a boy, and it was coming right from behind her, so she slipped quickly and silently into the water, then made sure he hadn't seen her by peeking around the stone she was hiding behind.

The first thing that stuck out to her was that he had beautiful, bright silver hair, and skin a lot lighter than hers. He was wearing dark things over his eyes that the teenagers called "shades." She was intrigued at the handsome human, and tried to hear what he said to the rectangle thing he was talking into. The water kept splashing on the boulder and she only caught a few phrases of what he was saying.

"…done…pirating! Money is…enough treasure, okay?"

Tooth's eyes widened and her slender fingers wrapped around her mouth. Money? Treasure? _Pirating? _

Her heart started thumping. She had caught a real pirate!

* * *

**A/N: All credits to the wonderful sophiefarts on tumblr for the ideas. Hope y'all like where this is headed! :)**


	2. Of Green Crystals and Old Friends

Tooth was hyperventilating. She could still hear the boy pacing around on the rocks muttering to himself, and her mind was racing with the newfound knowledge that he was a _pirate. _

Her family had a long, bloody history of battle against the pirates that roamed the Pacific. There would always be some pirate trying to capture a mermaid and sell her on their black market, and to get revenge, the mermaid's family would try and drown the ship. It was all very exciting, and stories about the great feud always made Tooth's blood rush with the heady thought of adventure.

Now she was finding her own adventure, and her own pirate. So Tooth did what all mermaids do when faced with their mortal enemy. She decided to attack the boy.

Her plan, however, was pretty flawed, because Tooth had tried getting out of the water before but mermaid tails were very unwieldy on land. She decided to try anyways. A tiny feathered hummingbird fairy fluttered close to Tooth's ear as she tried heaving herself out of the water in the shady part of the rock outcrop.

"Try standing up," the fairy breathed softly. Tooth nodded and, grabbing the top of the rock, pulled her way to what could plausibly qualify as a vertical stance. She glanced around quickly; the boy, who was at the other end of the boulders and was facing in the other direction, hadn't noticed her.

She winced as her tail bent on the sandy gravel beneath her. Her scales started drying up quickly, and her skin tightened as if it was going to crack. Eventually Tooth had to give up, because balancing herself was nearly impossible and she didn't want to alert the pirate to her presence. She slipped underwater and crossed her arms, then began talking to herself (which she often did when she was annoyed).

"Dammit," Tooth muttered, her tail flicking up. "I really want to fight him," she whispered to herself, "but I need legs and I don't have legs. I wish I had legs! No, never mind, I still want my tail…I like swimming. Swimming is fun. But walking looks pretty fun, too-" she suddenly had an epiphany. What could give her legs, but still allow her to be a mermaid?

The bracelet. The Green Crystal bracelet that Aster guarded! Of course! Tooth was off in a flash, but not before giggling in excitement. She would get to that human, no matter what.

* * *

Tooth knew that Aster was mindful of his species' history, and he was a very respectful merman and had a long tail and a strong upper body, which meant that he was the perfect candidate for the new Guardian position. He had eagerly applied for the training, knowing that it was a very respectful position to have, and it was what he'd always dreamed of being ever since he was a little merboy.

The Old Man of the Sea had invented the job. Manny, as Tooth called him, was the subject of many of the merfolk's lore and myths. Apparently he had founded the entire Pacific's tribe, and had protected the growing community from the nets of the fishermen and the more hostile creatures.

The other Guardian was nicknamed Sandy, because his hair was the color of the shore's beaches during the sunset. Sandy was a small, stout, good-natured merman who was completely mute. Not many people knew how or why he had joined the Pacific group; all that Aster knew was that Sandy was very old and very wise.

Tooth knew how seriously Aster was taking his training. Recently she hardly ever got a chance to talk to her childhood friend. Not only did he have to learn to protect his kin from careless humans, she'd learned, he also had to learn to fight against the Sirens.

Sirens were the scariest animals that Tooth had ever heard of. They were a group that had strayed from the Merfolk Code, which stated that never should a merperson willingly prey on a human. The merfolk liked to think of the Sirens as nightmares. Tooth had never seen a Siren before but they were always used to threaten little mergirls and merboys: "If you don't behave nicely, a nightmare will come and get you!"

Aster's most important job was protecting the Green Crystal that had been created by Queen Elsa of Fae Island, who was a close friend of Tooth's. When the Crystal bracelet was worn, a merperson could be transformed into a human- temporarily, of course. If the nightmares got ahold of that, who knew what havoc they would create in the human world?

The Green Crystal bracelet was the answer to Tooth's dilemma. That night, when the stars came out to sing, Tooth slipped into the golden palace rooms and stopped right outside of Aster's chamber. The last time she had stopped by to visit her friend, she had noticed the bracelet sitting on top of his nightstand. Tooth laid one pointed ear gently against the door and heard soft snores. Aster, tired from a day of strenuous training, was already fast asleep.

Tooth creaked the door open as quietly as possible and slipped inside, her tail propelling her through the room. She skirted around the area that he was floating in and grabbed the bracelet, then swum out. Thankfully, Aster was a heavy sleeper.

Tooth shot upwards in a blur of greens and yellow, then sat on the boulder she had hid behind when she had found the pirate. Her hands shook with the anticipation of _finally being human. _She could already feel her skin starting to dry up, and she hurriedly slipped the bracelet on. The world blurred around her for an instant, and then everything went black.

* * *

Jack dumped his stuff at his old house. He had to admit, it felt amazing to see his parents after such a long time. His mom couldn't stop crying from joy and his dad couldn't stop laughing from shock. He made up a story about what he'd been doing- because, of course, his parents wouldn't be able to forgive him if he told them the truth about his former job.

His mom convinced him to enroll in the Burgess High School, which, after a little reluctance, he did. Jack was a junior this year, and on the way back from the school's attendance office he ran into his old friends. Astrid promptly gave him a black eye, and, over milkshakes and fries, Hiccup profusely apologized and they had a chance to catch up.

Hiccup shot up like a beanstalk, and finally gotten a little bit of muscle onto his previously-lanky since the end of elementary school. Jack told them he was sort of nervous about going back to school. He had been in fifth grade when he'd left, but Hiccup and Astrid assured him that there wasn't much to be worried about.

"Besides, you've got us," Astrid grinned, punching his shoulder playfully.

Jack checked the time and realized he had to get back home. Waving goodbye to his friends, he walked out of the little seafront shop and towards his house, hands in his pocket, enjoying the sun and last bit of warmth before the Winter Festival- which, incidentally, started tomorrow.

Just as he was exiting the beach area, he felt the slightest prickly sensation at the back of his neck. He stopped. He could hear a few people lounging on the beach behind him, but that wasn't what was making his spine tingle.

He whipped his head around, to catch whoever it was in the act, but he saw nothing behind him. Jack shrugged. Maybe it was just a wayward breeze or something.

He took another step, and then something bowled into him. He yelped, terrified, but then relaxed- it was just Astrid. Jack flopped over on the ground, and Astrid sat on him.

"What is this for?" he muttered, lips quirking up.

Astrid grinned roguishly. "Nothing. I just wanted to sit on you."

"What she means," Hiccup called, speedwalking towards them, "is that we wanted to ask you about a job."

"A job?" Jack squinted up at Hiccup. "Why would I need a job?"

Hiccup shrugged. "Because it's fun. And we're there too."

"Okay, okay. What exactly is this job? Because if it's tutoring or something, I'm out."

"No, no, it's not tutoring," Astrid reassured him hurriedly. "That would suck. We work at seafood restaurant at the dock, and I remembered that I wanted to show it to you and get you introduced to North."

"What kind of a name is North? And, uh, could you get off me?"

Astrid reluctantly stood, and Jack breathed a sigh of relief. "North is short for Nicholas St. North," she explained.

"Also, um, North is a little bit…"

"Enthusiastic," Astrid suggested. "So don't say we didn't warn you."

Jack shrugged and half-smiled. "We'll see."

He knew that he would give in eventually. Now that he didn't make any money from software pirating, he figured that it would be nice to still earn some money in a more legal way. Jack stood up, brushed himself off, and continued home.

He still couldn't shake the feeling that he was being followed.

* * *

**A/N: aaaand of course I choose to update the night before my huge-ass bio final ahahaha**

**Once again, all credits to arcanabreak/formerly sophiefarts on tumblr for the ideas! (´∀｀) let's hope I can bs my final, get back in one piece, and update again soon~!**


	3. Learning Languages

It was the first day of the Winter Festival.

Jack breathed in the crisp, suddenly cold, salty air and smiled. For the first time in what felt like years, a weight lifted off of his shoulders.

"Alright, Jack, have a nice day at school!" His mom called from behind the fridge. His dad was away on a long business trip to Europe, and his mom, an airline pilot, had wanted to take a few days off to make sure that Jack was okay with being back in Burgess.

"Thanks, Mom," he grinned, and headed out the door. He felt slightly nervous, but he pushed the fear down and forced himself to be excited about the first day of school after Burgess High's midyear break. So far he already had Astrid and Hiccup as friends. And he'd get the chance to reintroduce himself to all of his old acquaintances- people he knew from way back when.

The school gates were in sight about five minutes later, and Jack saw Astrid and Hiccup standing outside talking. _I've got to get those two together someday, _Jack thought to himself, smirking slightly. He waved at them and they called him over.

"Hey Jack!" Hiccup said excitedly, looking like a puppy about to get a treat. "I can't believe you're back!"

"It's been, like, five days since I got here," Jack chuckled.

"No, I mean at school. It's gonna be so fun!"

Jack squinted at Hiccup. "Okay?"

"Ignore the nerd," Astrid laughed. "What are your classes, Frost?"

Before Jack could pull out his schedule, the bell rang, startling him. "Oh. Uh, I'd better get to class-"

And that was when Jack was jumped.

Something slammed into him, screaming words that he didn't understand and tearing at his hair. Jack staggered backwards as Astrid screeched and Hiccup stood there looking kind of scared.

"_Do something!" _Jack yelled. His assailant, whoever he (she?) was, wasn't giving up. Astrid charged in and pulled whoever it was off of Jack's back.

It was a girl. In a bikini.

"Jack! Do you know here? Is she your _friend?"_

"What?! I don't know her! Do you? Hiccup-"

Hiccup made an incoherent noise. He was still standing there, looking flustered. Jack was sure his own facial expression wasn't any more put together.

"What the hell?" Astrid gasped, still restraining the furious girl. "What is your _problem?"_

The girl screamed more garbled words in a different language. Jack, still shocked from her ambush, stood there openmouthed. "Who-?" The late bell rang, startling the girl into silence.

"Great," Astrid muttered. "You made us late."

"So, we gotta go to the principal's office?" Hiccup muttered, trying not to look at the half-naked girl.

"Yeah, and we're takin' _this _one with us."

"She's wearing a bikini," Jack deadpanned. Astrid grabbed at the girl, who was trying to escape, and turned back to look at him with a smirk.

"Seem kinda focused on that, don't you, Frost?"

Jack spluttered.

* * *

A few minutes later, Astrid had forced the girl into a janitor's uniform and was marching her down to the principal's office, with Jack and Hiccup in tow. The girl kept trying to talk, and Astrid kept shushing her.

"Is she, like, indigenous? Or something?" Hiccup murmured. The girl turned around, looking offended.

She was kind of cute, in a way. She was tiny, about five feet tall. Her hair was long and pretty and a strange greenish-yellow color, and her skin was a bright caramel. Her eyes stuck out the most to Jack, on account of their strange, almost violet color. She hissed at him and he flinched. "Jeez," Jack muttered.

Astrid attempted to barge into the principal's office but was stopped by the secretary, who demanded they wait outside because the principal was meeting with a teacher.

Astrid plopped down heavily next to Hiccup on the bench, forcing the girl to sit down with her. Jack scooted as far as he could from her, because evidently she hated his guts.

That was a pity.

"What's your name, anyway?" Astrid asked her gruffly.

"_Danta," _she replied, then frowned. "_Maane, danta," _she tried again, then squinted at Jack.

"Wha-_mmph!" _Without warning, she cupped his jaw and pulled him towards her. Her lips smashed against his forcefully- he didn't mind. They were soft, and tasted like salt and sunshine. He unintentionally deepened the kiss, his hands reaching up to cup her face. And it was like he was sucked into some sort of a void, and all that existed was him, this girl and the spark between them-

-wait. _She was kissing him._

_She was kissing him?_

It was a few seconds before Jack fully realized that yes, the strange, cute, murderous, jibberish speaking girl who he had known for all of five minutes was kissing him, hard. And he was kissing back.

He pulled away, his eyes wide, shell shocked, her hands still tangled in his hair.

Astrid and Hiccup sat there, openmouthed. Jack cleared his throat, aware that his cheeks were bright red (but not really caring about it because _damn she was a good kisser). _"Uh-"

The girl placed her hands delicately in her lap, her lips stained red, and smiled brightly at him. Evidently, she was painfully oblivious to the momentous shock and distress she had caused. Then she spoke in perfect English, her voice high and bubbly. "Ah! Now, I have access to this language! My name is Toothiana, and I am here to kill you.

* * *

**A/N: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S BEEN FIVE MONTHS SINCE THE LAST UPDATE? no that's impossible I'm not _that _much of a procrastinator. gosh.**


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